Shadow In The Night
by Dragonlover24186
Summary: With the shadow of himself locked in his mind, after days of horror, coping with the post-traumatic stress seems too much for the young american
1. Chapter 1

He was slowly coming to, the doctors had been working on his wounds for hours since Arthur and Matthew brought him back to his own country, out of the hands of the Russian. His eyes finally drifted open, attempting to focus on the bright room and the many movements surrounding him.

"Alfred? Good you're waking up. Can you hear me?"

Without notice, the American's eyes went wide, realizing what was going on. He sat up quickly, startling the medical staff.

"Please Mr. Jones, lay back down. We have not fully investigated your injuries"

Still he ignored there voices, his hands fishing through his clothing, searching for something. His jacket was in the far corner, but he searched through every other pocket he had. He found it, clutching it in his right hand, breathing deeply, pointing it at anyone in the room who was too close to him.

"Back...Get back all of you! Don't come any closer. I won't hesitate to shoot you..."

They never thought to take away his pistol, moreover they did not know he still had it. It had a full clip in it, so his threat was very real. They backed up very slowly, as to not scare him.

"Al...What's going on? It's just us...Please give me the pistol", the young Canadian prodded, reaching his hand out to take the weapon. The younger simply took aim instead, discharging the weapon into the Canadian's arm.

"What was that for Al! I'm just trying to help!"

"I don't know you...Stop calling me that! I already told you once...Get out...Right now..."

He raised the pistol again. He meant was he was saying.

"Ok! Ok! Don't be hasty, I'm going..."

Everyone was hurried out of the room, a bit shocked as to what had just occurred. What in the world had gone one to leave him like that? The medical staff worked on a plan, but decided it was best to leave him be at that point.

"What's wrong with him, Arthur? Why did he..."

"I...I don't know, lad. Whatever that Russian Bastard did to him those few days... Are you alright? We need to get that arm wrapped up"

"N-no, I'm fine! I just...want to help Al..."

"I've never seen something like that. It's almost as though he-"

"He locked up his mind"

"What?"

"He...In order to protect himself...His mind would lock his memories away...dehumanize himself.."

"Matthew, how do you...know that?"

"It's what they taught him to do a while back if anything like this happened..."

"Then you know how to reverse it, correct?"

The Canadian shook his head, oh how much more complicated it was than that. If they let him be, his wounds may get worse, and he could never recover, but if they went in there, they ran a risk to themselves. Who knew what was going through his head, rocking back and forth on that bed. All you could see is him clutching his gun, holding it tightly to his chest. Nobody was able to go into the room safely, so he had no other contact since the first time. They had tried many times to assist him, but all ended the same way. He had not slept or ate anything in nearly a week, the doctors worried about his physical health as well as his clear psychological turmoil. Someone needed to get in there to check on his wounds, which had not been treated since he woke up. They brought him into the hospital with terrible lacerations and hemorrhaging, and they were not even able to look for internal bleeding. Without proper treatment, excess movement could cause major bleeding, but it was much too dangerous to have any normal person go in there. England had to return home soon after. If he wanted to stay for a prolonged period of time, he would have to finish up some things at his home. That left Canada, who was more than willing to work with his brother.

I couldn't remember a time when Al's condition was this bad. He's never pulled a gun on me before...It's...Unsettling. He couldn't remember himself, he certainly can't remember me. I vaguely remembered when he would talk about his training, how he was able to protect himself from intimidation and torture. It was a way for him to not break under pressure, to never betray information. I thought it was a drastic idea at the time, though now I see its rewards, and tragic flaw. I stopped by Al's house to pick something up, before heading to the hospital again today. His nurse was constantly watching him through the window, worried about him. She had been working with him for nearly thirty years now, they were friends, as with all of his nurses.

"What is that for?"

"I'm hoping that maybe he will jog Al's memory a bit...Or at least help him trust me more.."

"Good luck Mr. Williams"

I opened the door slowly, alerting Al in the process. I never wanted to startle him, I didn't want that gun to make him do something he'd regret.

"Who's there this time..."

"It's just me, Matthew", I popped my head through the door, smiling gently at him.

"What do you want?"

"Just to talk"

"You do that everyday"

"Well, today I brought someone who might want to see you"

"Who would I possibly want to see?"

I brought in his bald eagle, a magnificent creature that he had been caring for over many years. I was wearing my ornithological wrist cover, though Al never needed one to protect him.

"That's..."

"Do you recognize him Al?"

The bird flew from my arm to its master, who instinctively held out his arm as a perch.

"My eagle...", he said, continuing to stroke the birds beak.

"That's good...You knew that", I took a few steps closer, but he tensed up, grabbing his gun once more, pointing the barrel at me.

"That's far enough"

I conceded, any stop closer was progress. I pulled over a chair from the far corner and sat down.

"Are you feeling any better today?"

My question was met with silence. He did that every day, sometimes he would respond to me, others he wouldn't. I couldn't push him anymore than I was doing, he would have to get better on his own time.

"I have food for you again today, if you're hungry"

He nodded his head in acknowledgment. He hadn't eaten since he arrive, and though I tried to help, he wouldn't take anything that I brought.

"You need to eat you know...I'm sure you're very hungry..."

He continued ignoring me...Like every other day.

"It's not poisoned or anything...I can assure you that", I munched on it, not wanting to let it go to waste. I looked over at him, still mesmerized with his bird.

"I'm sure he misses you...Nobody's around to take care of him since you're here"

Silence

"I'll bring him over more often...You deserve company you trust"

He glanced over at me, then resumed his actions with the bird.

"I'm going to have to leave for a while. With you out of commission, I'm helping out around NORAD and such. So this may be the last time I see you for a while"

I waited for a response, though I was careful not to keep my hopes up. I could only drop by for a few minutes that day, I had to be on a plane to Colorado in just an hour or two.

"I can leave him if you like. I called and Arthur is going to come over to look after you. You know him. He's your older brother that lives in Europe.. He said he'd come for as long as it takes, so I'll leave him here to take care of you. He'll be able to take him home too"

He seemed to listen a bit, though wasn't reacting in any way.

"Well, goodbye Al. I'll be back"

"Hmph...bye..."

I walked out into the hallway, I hoped at least Arthur may be able to make some progress while I was gone. I lingered around the waiting room, hoping he would show up soon. If not, I was going to be late.

* * *

><p>Ah yes, finally back~ This one'll be finished soon...Probably 3 or 4 parts to it. I've decided to update on a 1000-2000 word basis, instead of when I finish, so that there is not such a long time inbetween updates :D<p>

Yes, the description thing does say england as the second character, not canada, because he is more prevalent in the /later/ chapters...Sometimes I wish they would let me click three haha

And for the usual...DISCLAIMER! I am no writer, I'm just doing these for fun :D So sorry, but with my busy schedule, I won't be editing or revising any of these. Feel free to leave a review if you so wish, but if it's critical, I'll take your criticism but I'm not big on revising X( sorry! I love fluffy reviews though :D


	2. Chapter 2

I had returned to the States as fast as possible. I had a bloody lot of work but, just this once, I was setting it all aside. From what I understood, Matthew had been unsuccessful in his efforts to rouse the boy from his stupor. I brought some things along with me in order to aid in my attempt. I met Matthew in the atrium, where I soon confirmed the news that I heard.

"Oh Arthur, hey! Glad you could make it back"

"I apologize for not arriving earlier. It's good to see that you are in one piece"

"He hasn't shot me for as long as I've been here, I'm alright"

"Good to hear", I stated, taking off towards Alfred's room.

"Woah woah, you can't just go in there!"

"Come now, I'm sure progress has been made", I opened the door to his room, coming face to face with the barrel of a gun.

"Back out of the room, close the door, and I won't have to shoot you", Alfred said, threatening from the white bed.

"Alright alright, don't be hasty"

I quickly shut the door, seeing Matthew waiting patiently for me out there.

"As I said before, you can't just walk in there"

He proceeded to explain the many measures I must take before entering the room; knocking, staying towards the back wall, speaking softly.

"That's about all the help I can give you now. If you wouldn't mind, could you take his eagle back eventually, I left the arm cover on that chair. I really have to go, but call me if you need something"

"Don't worry, I'll have that git to his normal self in no time"

"I sure hope so. Alright, bye!", he blurted, dashing out the door.

I proceeded to initiate the door opening once more, very slowly, announcing my presence. I did now notice the large predatory bird in his room, which found its way onto my arm in a very alarming fashion.

"Hello Alfred"

"He seems to like you...The bird I mean"

"Ah yes well, I have met him a few times before now"

"And who might you be?"

"Oh...Arthur...Arthur Kirkland, The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland", I stated, extending my hand in customary gesture. He glared at me, causing me to immediately retreat my hand.

"I was just seeing how you were doing, do you need anything?"

My question met with silence as the eagle returned to its master's bedpost.

"I'm doing fine enough, now will you leave"

"I can't just do that. Come now, someone has to see to your recovery-"

"Nothing is wrong with me, now leave!"

He sounded hesitant in his voice, maybe Matthew had done more than he thought.

"Is it, that you miss Matthew?"

He paused for a moment, thinking, pondering my question.

"What is it to you?"

"I was simply wondering if you remembered anything about him"

"Not something I would share with a stranger like you. I don't know who you're working for, why you're doing this"

"Who I'm working for? Oh Al, I assure you I'm not with Russia, I would never dream of it"

"That's what you all say, but you have no proof"

"Proof? I'm one of your closest allies, your brother, I always thought that was proof enough"

He had returned to petting the bird, ignoring what I was saying.

"Can you at least talk to me?"

"I did"

I got word out of him for at least ten minutes the first day, that had to count for something. Matthew was right though, it would take a lot of work to see more substantial progress in this. Days went by, with my visiting every day for a few hours. It entailed a bit of conversation, but mostly silence. I hoped that even just my presence would do something for him. Nothing changed on one front though, I still had not witnessed him eat or sleep once that entire time. I was worried. He couldn't do this to his body forever, he was only getting weaker. Jogging his memory was the only way for it to change. Even if he could just remember a bit about me, about someone, it would help the situation. I always brought items with me to show him, but today I had something that I knew would accomplish something.

"Alfred? I'm here"

I was greeted the usual manner, though his eyes were heavy with sleep deprivation.

"I have another something to show you. I know you'll like this"

I took out a medium sized box, sliding it across the floor over to him, for I could not get near enough to hand it to him. He opened the box, rather with trepidation, but brought out its contents very slowly, with much thought.

"Do you know what that is?"

He heard me, though probably didn't process what I was saying. He was enraptured in what I had given to him. An aviatrix jacket, belonging to someone very special to him. I knew where he kept it in his house, so I decided maybe if I couldn't get through to him, that she could.

"You recognize it?", I repeated my question.

"Amelia..."

"That's very good!", I doubt he was answering me, probably just saying it to himself.

He rubbed the fabric gently, feeling every stitch with his fingers. He embraced it, taking it very near to himself, as he took long deep breaths. I watched him, as he ignored me, but continued on to himself.

"I had nearly forgot about you...I'm so sorry...Please forgive me"

"I doubt she'd hold any of this against you. Or anything in general against you"

"How...How did you know about her?"

"Me? Well, you introduced me to her after all. I knew a bit about her"

"I...introduced you? How can that be..."

"I'm your older brother, why wouldn't you?"

"Right...Of course...", his eyes returned to the jacket, forever envisioning something with it.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No"

There it was, the one syllable answers. It was time for me to go and leave him to his own mind.

"I'll be off then, see you tomorrow", I moved to the door, exiting very slowly, but before I had stepped out I heard something.

"Thank...you..."

I did not wish to jeopardize the progress that I had accomplished that day, so I let him be.


	3. Chapter 3

I thought of many ways in order to help Alfred regain his memory, but the items seemed to help the most, so I decided to keep that going for a while.

"Al, I've brought something you may remember"

He glanced over at me, as I had brought him many things, different each day.

"If it's a weapon or something...I'm not afraid to fire"

"It isn't, don't worry, it's a toy"

"Set it on the chair...then back up"

"Alright...Remember this?", I said, putting down one of his toy soldiers onto the chair. He picked it up, handing it carefully in his hands.

"It looks like...Where did you get this...?"

"Your storage room, I made them for you. Remember?"

"They seem familiar, something about it"

"You were a child...I handmade them for you back when you were just a colony"

"I...These...No, what am I thinking...It's just more mind tricks!"

"Is that really what you think Al?"

"Not like you all haven't done them already! Those illusions won't work on me! No matter what you do to me, I'm not your comrade"

"Alfred...I'm not with Russia, he's my enemy too! What can I do to prove that to you?"

"You're probably lying just like the rest of them out there...Pretending to be friendly to gain my trust before you start the treatment again!"

"No no Al, that's not it all", I pleaded, taking a step forward. He readied his gun right up in line with my eyes.

"Don't you dare get too close"

"Are you going to shoot me? Hm...Alfred, do it. If you are one hundred percent convinced I'm a soviet bastard and working with him, then shoot me. Now."

"Don't...Don't push me!"

"...Can you really do it? It's me, Alfred. It's Arthur...Artie. I have a stuffed bear that you like to make fun of. You enjoy my scones. You secretly watch Doctor Who...You're going to tell me you can't remember anything? Then do it, if there isn't a hint of doubt in your mind"

"Stop making things up about me! I don't even know you, move any closer and I swear I'll do it"

"Heh...remember how you sat on my shoulders? It never rained at your house, so we'd go out and play games with the animals. You loved for me to use my magic to tell you stores, and when you did have a thunderstorm, you'd curl up to me and I'd have to comfort you back to sleep..."

"Just stop it! You're confusing me!"

"And then whenever I had to leave, you'd cry and grab onto my hand, not letting go until I promised you that I would be back...Heh, then when I did, you would dress up in my pirate jacket and hat. They were much too big for you..."

"How...I just...No. He has to be lying...You have to be lying! That bastard told you about me, didn't he"

He didn't believe a word I said, that bastard got to him more than I even though possible. If I was going to free him from his own mind trap, I was going to have to push him more. I needed to simply get through to him enough to look at his wounds. I could tell from there that they had not been treated properly at all, probably still bleeding, running the risk of infection. I needed to bring up anything that I could to help him.

"And then you split from me in the Revolution...You can't just not remember that...But it only helped us grow closer...Haha, remember that time when you lost your glasses and had to go for a whole meeting running into walls"

"I...", He set down the gun on the bed, "Who...If you supposedly don't work for him...Who are you?"

"I'm your brother...I was so worried about you...I just want to help"

"But I...How do I know nothing's going to happen...That you're not like one of them, you won't hurt me like the others"

"Alfred, you should know I'd never do that...I'd rather hurt myself. I want to help heal you, please Al"

"No...I can't let them hurt me again...If you're lying or wrong..."

"Then you can shoot me. I'm unarmed, I don't and have never wanted to hurt you"

"I...Just a little closer okay..."

I took a step or two, not wanting to scare him off, "Is this alright?"

"You don't...look like you have anything..."

"I don't, absolutely nothing. No electronics, no weapons"

"Then...It's fine. Why are you even here, if you're supposedly not working for him"

"I wanted to see how you were, the doctors hadn't been in here the entire time. I was rather worried for you"

"Those guys in white coats, they tried doing things to me...I wouldn't let them near me"

"Alfred...When we found you, you were nearly dead. They're just trying to help"

"No! They wanted to use needles and syringes! I'm never letting anyone near me with those again"

"...Maybe when you're a bit more well"

"No! Not after last time..."

"Alright...sorry. Forget I said anything"

"You wouldn't know, nobody does"

"...You can't tell me right now, can you?"

"Tell you?...No...No no no..."

"Ok ok, calm down. Don't think about it"

"I just...No I can't tell you"

"I'm not forcing you to in the slightest. Just know, I'll always listen"

"Alright...that's a weird thing to say"

I hadn't realized how everything was going, I was simply talking to him like he knew everything, like he remembered me. I needed to calm down now though. He needed help and that was the real reason why I was there.

"You've changed so much...But it'll be alright now"

"I haven't changed..."

"Yes, you have...Have you remembered anything at all?"

"No...Not much...It's all just a fuzzy mess, running together"

"Eventually you will, I have no doubts about that. You'll return to normal"

"I don't even know what that means"

"It's no matter. Are you hungry?"

"No...They could do something to it. They're everywhere"

"You need to eat, Alfred"

"I've gone this long without it"

"You'll starve!"

"Doesn't matter...It's better than the alternative"

"I won't have you treating yourself this way"

"It's better, safer"

"...I guess I'll leave you to it then..."

"You're going to leave?"

"I have to..."

"Right right...go then"

The next day, I opened the door slowly, as not to startle him. He reached for his gun, pointing it at me quickly.

"Oh...It's just you", he muttered to himself.

He set the gun down at his side. His reaction was encouraging, did he not see me as harmful?

"You set your weapon down? Then you don't see me as a threat?"

"Well...You always keep your distance when I ask...and haven't done anything yet...So I guess not"

"That's a relief..."

"Don't think you can try anything though!"

"I wouldn't dare"

Every time I walked into that room, he would back up on the bed. I hadn't done a thing to him, but he still feared me.

"I'm sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable"

"It's not just you, don't worry"

"...Everyone then?"

"I'm the only one I know I can trust..."

"When you get your memory back, everything will be easier. I know it for a fact. I miss the old Alfred"

"Tsk...Then sorry..."

I sat in the corner, on a chair that I had brought in from outside. Each day I would move it just a centimeter closer along the wall, he watched intently as I did so, but never stopped me. I glanced around the room, seeing if he had changed anything while I was away. Nothing was different, the window was shut tight, curtain blocking the sunlight, his coat still hung in the corner where I had left it, and an untouched meal once more adorned the table.

"I see you have not eaten again today"

He ignored my statement.

"You're wasting away like that you realize"

He grunted in acknowledgment, turning away from the lunch. It was getting to the point where you could hardly recognize the young man. He had lost most of his weight, his bones jutting forth from the skin. Dark circles enveloped his eyes, a result of the sleepless nights he forced himself to endure. He looked like just a shell now, existing simply to exist, not much had changed over these days.

"Come now, at least sleep. I'm sure you're exhausted"

"No...You're most vulnerable asleep. I'll stay up forever if I have to, I don't care"

"Nothing's happened to you here. Yet you're still this cautious"

"Why wouldn't I be, it could all just be a trap"

"Yes of course...Hm?"

I glanced over and noticed he was shivering. The poor lad was freezing. He wasn't functioning properly with no sleep, not to mention the blood loss from his wounds that were never adequately treated. The room was naturally quite cold, considering the season, and he was just ill-equipped to stay warm. I motioned to retrieve his jacket, but he was having none of that.

"If I think I need my jacket, I'll get it myself!"

He moved to the edge of the bed, testing to see how his strength would hold up in the event that he actually did want to obtain his jacket. He shakily moved off of the bed, bracing himself with the end table. I quietly moved closer, seeing that I did not believe he could do it on his own. It seemed like he had not stood on of his own accord for many days, as his legs seemed to shake when he finally did gather the strength to stand.

"Alfred sit down...Please just listen!"

He did not take two steps before his knees gave out and he was plummeting to the floor. I did not have two seconds to think, my body simply acted on its own. I ran over, swinging my arm around his chest, holding him up. His body was shaking much more than just a minute ago, that's when my mind finally registered what I had done.

"Oh god, Alfred, I'm sorry! I could not just let you fall..."

"I...You..."

I directed him back to the hospital bed, apologizing the entire way. How could I have been so rash...

"You...helped me? I..."

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"

"I just...didn't think..."

"I couldn't have you hurting yourself more...I have to watch out for my little brother"

"B-brother..."

"I'm always here, whether you remember me or not"

"...Ar-Arthur..."

I hadn't gotten him back yet, but something had changed. His eyes went wide, looking over at me.

"Hm? What is it..."

Suddenly he gripped onto my shirt, collapsing into an embrace. I didn't know what sparked it, if he was just that weak, or something else...

"Alfred, come now. What's wrong..."

"Arthur...it's really you...r-right?"

"You...it can't be...you know me?"

"Nothing else but..."

"Oh thank god", I returned the gesture resting my head on his, "You scared the living daylights out of me, you know that..."

"You don't know the difference it makes, knowing someone...anyone"

"It's going to be alright. You're going to be alright. Can you trust me on that?"

"I...I guess so", he said, relaxing in my arms and drifting off to sleep, pinning me to the bed with his body weight, not that I minded at all.


	4. Chapter 4

He slept for a long time, I didn't know if he'd ever wake up. It was nearly a day and I couldn't move. For the most part he was laying soundly, not making a noise or moving at all. Suddenly he started shaking violently, pulling me as close as he could, tossing and turning. He was having a nightmare, maybe more of a flashback. Either way I couldn't just leave him like that, so I woke him up.

"Alfred...Alfred come on, wake up"

He pushed himself up off of me, tears dripping down his face as his blue eyes pleaded at me. Uncontrollable tremors fell through his body, as he turned away from me, curling his legs up, far into himself. He only stayed that way for a second before jolting back, writhing on the bed. His injuries, I had nearly forgotten. I was finally able to get up, gathering medical supplies from the cabinet in the corner, I brought back bandages and a basin of water.

"It hurts...Hurts so bad Arthur", he muttered, holding his sides and neck.

"I know, Alfred...I know. Can you hold still?"

He nodded slightly, the pain catching up with him after that long sleep. His brain could finally recognize the signals and it was killing him, you could see it in his face. I did what I could to clean him up, wrapping his wounds one by one.

"What were you dreaming about...when I awoke you?", I asked, trying to start some conversation between us. First he didn't answer me, possibly pondering about what he wished to say.

"About what could happen, being here in the hospital like this. What if he came-"

I stopped him right there. I had heard quite enough.

"That's not what is going to occur here, you realise this, correct? I would kick his arse all the way back to Moscow. I'm not letting him hurt you...He'd never get past me"

He smiled gently up at me, knowing that I was telling nothing but the truth. I wouldn't let that bastard touch him again. I am the older brother, I should be able to at least protect him from things such as this.

"What did he do to you, if you don't mind me asking"

"Huh? Oh...", he was really quiet then, searching for the words in his mind. "He was trying to get things outta me, information on anything, anyone. When I wouldn't do it, well, he figured he could make me...That's just what he tried. He attempted everything really; blades, water, syringes, poison, electricity...anything"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Alfred had gone through all of that and there he was. He is a strong country, no doubt about that, but for something that hideous to occur over nearly a month...No wonder he was out of commission for so long, still was technically. I didn't want to ask him details, so I just left it at that.

"I waited, hoped, the entire time that someone would go and get me. It was made pretty clear that I couldn't do it myself, I just couldn't. Every day it still happened. As I was losing it, losing my will to keep it up, that's when I went and did this. I locked away every memory I had, every bit of information, anything that he could use against me. Everything but my body. I hardly remember after I did, it all just seemed routine at that point. I wouldn't let him have a god damn thing, not from me. You guys finding me, my trip here, it is all a blur. When I got up, I couldn't remember anything at all...not a single thing but who I was, even that was a bit fuzzy, still is...I thought I was still in that frozen wasteland. People were touching me, I didn't want to be hurt anymore..."

"Al...they want to help you. These are your people"

"I can't bring myself to let them in here...something is still telling me that they can't be trusted. But you, for some reason I remember you. Everything about you Arthur, and I don't know why", he looked down to the floor, but a smile crept onto his face.

"At least it's something. I did not even have to get shot for it either", I stated jokingly, though that wasn't how he saw it at all.

"I shot Mattie...didn't I?"

"Let's not worry about things such as that. You need to eat something, you're wasting away in here"

"I do feel lighter...and I'm starving"

"Then I will be off. I'll get you something to eat", I said, walking towards the door.

"W-wait! You're just gunna leave me here...?"

"I was going to...", though I saw the terrified and distraught look on his face, "Will you at least eat what they bring you?"

He hesitated, not wanting to answer

"Here you go then, I have a proposition for you. What if I get Matthew to come and bring you something?"

"Okay...That's better", he said, still looking rather unsure about the whole thing.

We waited as I called the Canadian. He was more than willing to come over and bring Alfred a little something to eat.


End file.
